What does “parents’ rights” even mean?

Extremists are using the term “parents’ rights” to confuse us – the truth is they want to undermine public education and control how we all raise our kids.

All parents should be free to make their own parenting decisions. For example, if a parent doesn’t want their kid reading a certain book, they can make that decision. If a parent doesn’t want their kid to receive sex ed, they can opt them out of any lesson they want. But a loud minority wants to take that right away from other parents and ban books and lessons for all kids.

Mainstream parents don’t want to be told how to raise our children by a loud, vocal minority. Parenting is hard enough – we’re done letting extremists who want to ban books, censor school curriculums, and target families of transgender children with political attacks control the conversation. We want the freedom to raise our kids for the 21st century.

What do I need to know about parental rights in k-12 schools?

So far, the “parents’ rights” agenda in schools has included some truly terrifying things: tracking kids’ menstrual cycles, requiring genital inspections for kids to participate in school sports, suing teachers who wear “I’m here” badges in support of LGBTQ+ students, and banning books about Anne Frank, Ruby Bridges, MLK Jr., LGBTQ+ kids, and even climate change. None of these actually protect individual freedom. Instead, they’re about controlling what students and families believe, do, read, and learn. These bans and laws take away our rights and the rights of our kids. 

The groups behind “parents’ rights” are a small vocal minority, with big outside funding. In many cases, the people yelling at school board meetings don’t even have kids in the school district. Even worse, they’ve become known for using harassment and intimidation to silence librarians, teachers, parents, students and community leaders. Moms for Liberty members have threatened people with gun violence, accused parents of child abuse and grooming, and even tried to have children removed from healthy family homes. 

The chaos is causing real harm in our communities, and it’s getting expensive. One school district has racked up $1 million in PR and legal fees as a result of its discriminatory policies. Those are taxpayer dollars that could have gone to improving our public schools. But that’s really the point. The extremist minority causing this chaos has every intention of undermining our public schools, which eight in ten children in America rely on for their education. So let’s talk more about these tactics and their effects. 

Who is trying to ban books?

Extremist politicians and outside groups who want to undermine public education are attempting to ban books in every state, with increasing frequency. Groups such as Moms for Liberty are often used as the messengers at school board meetings and state legislative hearings to call for these bans. Despite the name, their actions limit the individual freedom of other families and they do not speak for mainstream moms.

In many situations, the actions of just one parent can result in dozens of books being banned. When someone requests a book ban, too often, it is removed from the shelves before it can even go through a review process. Meanwhile, the entire community is unable to access that information.

If book bans are so unpopular, why are they banning books?

Political groups such as Moms for Liberty try to confuse other parents by claiming they are targeting books with sexual content, but the truth is that the books they try to ban are almost always by people of color and LGBTQ+ authors and/or about people who don’t look like them. They’ve even tried to ban books about Rosa Parks, Anne Frank, Martin Luther King Jr, and Ruby Bridges!

Many of the books they target are not assigned reading and are simply on library shelves available to the public. 

When books are banned about different groups of people, it harms ALL children. Kids miss out on learning about different religions, races, cultures, or even how families are different from one another. It robs them of the opportunity to prepare for the complexities of a 21st century global economy.

When children see themselves or their families represented by the books that are being banned, it can make them feel like they don’t matter. A Trevor Project 2022 study found that students who had an affirming or supportive school environment reported a lower rate of attempted suicide. 

To hear more about how book bans affect communities, check out our series of Conversations with Banned Book Authors. 

PEN America has a map of books bans by state in the first half of the 2022-2023 school year:

I keep hearing about SEL but what is it?

SEL stands for social and emotional learning. SEL programs teach self-awareness, self-management, empathy, relationship-building, and decision-making. These social, emotional skills are essential to prepare our kids for success in the 21st century. According to research, SEL helps kids manage stress, get along better with others, and improve academic performance.

But extremists are attacking SEL programs in schools as part of their larger attacks on public education. Some lawmakers have even introduced bills to ban SEL. That’s right: people are trying to ban teaching our kids empathy!

What is CRT?

If you hear the term “CRT,” or Critical Race Theory, anywhere near anything about K-12, you can guarantee that you’ve been targeted by a disinformation campaign. Extremists are deliberately trying to mislead us by using the term “CRT” because they know it’s unfamiliar. Instead of admitting that they want to ban lessons about slavery or books by Black authors, they just say they don’t want “CRT.” The truth is that they don’t want our kids to learn anything about the history of race in America at all.

Fortunately, the majority of parents know that our kids need to learn accurate history–the good, the bad, and the ugly–so they can prepare for the future and reach their full potential.

You probably didn’t even start hearing about CRT until recently, when extremists started using it as a political tool (we hadn’t heard of it either), but it’s been around for more than 40 years. It’s a graduate level academic and legal concept that explains the history of systemic racism and how it impacts things like our education, housing, and financial systems today. Complex stuff, right? That’s why it’s taught in law school or graduate school…and not K-12.  

Unfortunately, this disinformation campaign has been successful. As of March 2023, extremist politicians in 44 states have introduced bills or taken other steps that would restrict lessons on race. Just one more reason that it’s so important for mainstream parents to speak up.

Why am I hearing so much about trans kids and “gender ideology” in schools?

The truth is educators just want to teach kids what they need to be set up for success — yet extremists are obsessing over trans people who make up about .5% of the population, fearmongering to try to confuse and scare us. Trans kids are no different from any other kid. They have the same hopes and dreams and deserve to be treated with dignity, the same as anyone else.

Extremists made up the phrase “gender ideology” because they know that trans and non-binary people are unfamiliar territory for many parents. The “parents’ rights” crowd actually doesn’t want schools to have books written by any LGBTQ authors or include any characters that don’t reinforce gender stereotypes. They don’t want teachers to be allowed to use students’ correct pronouns or be able to provide support to kids who need it most. They don’t want to acknowledge that trans people exist at all. 

Because of this fearmongering, states are passing bans on the already tiny number of trans athletes. For example, Kansas passed a complete ban on trans athletes on girls’ and women’s sports teams…but there are only three trans girls playing sports in the state from 7-12th grade. There are now more laws banning trans kids from playing sports than there are trans kids playing sports. 

The truth is, these laws open up ANY kid to being targeted. If any parent thinks a girl looks too tall or too strong, she could be subject to genital inspections before she can join the field hockey team. That’s just disgusting and can not be allowed to happen.  

We don’t think any child should be subject to grownups insisting on checking their body parts. We don’t think any child should be subject to political attacks. 

Trans kids don’t have an ideology or political agenda. They just want to be kids and be themselves. 

What is comprehensive sex ed?

Comprehensive sex education teaches medically accurate, inclusive, and age-appropriate information about human sexuality, health, and relationships. It covers basic topics such as anatomy, puberty, contraception, gender, sexual orientation, consent, self-esteem and healthy relationships. The American Academy of Pediatrics supports comprehensive sex ed because it helps to keep kids and communities safe. It has been shown to help reduce rates of sexually transmitted infections, unintended pregnancies, bullying, and abuse. Sex ed is one of the most transparent curricula available in schools, with entire lessons available online and multiple ways for parents to opt their child out of any lesson they wish. Children are encouraged to discuss the information learned with parents so the family’s values are respected. 

What is the impact of culture wars on kids?

How are these attacks and fearmongering affecting teachers?

We all know that there’s a shortage of teachers right now. At least 45% of public schools had a teacher vacancy in October 2022. Some school districts in rural areas of the south and west are even moving to a 4 day week schedule, with the teacher shortage leading this push.  On top of the COVID-19 pandemic, teachers have been dealing with harassment, book bans, and laws restricting what they are allowed to teach in the classroom.

One-quarter of teachers have revised their lesson plans and teaching practices to limit or exclude talking about race and gender. There is a chilling effect on teachers, when even the possibility of bans lead teachers to change their lessons and remove books from their classroom shelves. That means kids aren’t being given access to an accurate education because of the attacks on teachers.

What can our elected leaders (Congress, state representatives, and others) do to protect our kids?

Elected leaders need to listen to mainstream moms. We know what issues are impacting our kids. We talk about these issues at the bus stop every day: gun safety so our kids aren’t anxious to go to school, increased funding for public education, supporting teachers instead of driving them to quit, ending book bans, creating safe environments free from bullying and discrimination, and mental health support for kids who are struggling. 

What Can I Do?

Join us! Red Wine & Blue is a powerful grassroots community of almost half a million diverse suburban women. We’re launching “Freedom to Parent” because these attacks are a direct threat to our kids and our public schools. Someone needs to speak up for the majority! Sign up here to join the movement.

What if I’m not a parent?

No kids? No problem! The “Freedom to Parent” movement is open to everyone whether or not you have children. We can all help make sure kids are supported, safe and have access to accurate public education. Today’s kids will be the leaders and teachers and caretakers of the future. It’s up to all of us to ensure they are given the knowledge and skills they need to be successful. Join us in this grassroots movement!